


hands touching hands

by serialpastry



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Pining, Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Spoilers, hand-holding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:35:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28849173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serialpastry/pseuds/serialpastry
Summary: Dorothea is beautiful and complicated and all things in between.In which Edelgard is in love, and maybe she's a bit selfish for that.
Relationships: Dorothea Arnault/Edelgard von Hresvelg
Comments: 8
Kudos: 56





	hands touching hands

**Author's Note:**

> hello :) i wrote this a while ago, but i'm editing it as there were many mistakes. i hope you can enjoy it!

Beauty had always seemed too abstract to fit into words. Edelgard had witnessed it before, but could never truly encapsulate what beauty  _ was _ . 

In a world so drab, built directly off the suffering of others and their bloodshed, there are few things that are truly beautiful. The roses that color the greenhouse red (her favorite color, if you’d believe it.) The snow which would fall in Faerghus (the only thing she really remembered from those times), and the view from the cathedral - they’re all beautiful, but they’ve never encapsulated _true_ beauty. Not to Edelgard. 

There’s never enough time in her schedule to search for the true meaning of beauty. She has a prophecy to fulfill - a prophecy which leaves her with so little time. It’s never enough, and so she clings to the hope that maybe when the world is anew, and when Fodlan is finally unified, she can bask in the lovelier things. For now, she doesn’t want to waste time on trivialities. There is so much to adore from afar, and so many things she just doesn’t know. She may live the rest of her life without knowing true beauty, and she’s come to accept that. It’s just one more thing she’s lost on.

However, Dorothea enters the picture, and the absence of knowledge turns into an unbearable thirst for it.

Long, brown hair which frames her jaw perfectly. Emerald eyes that sparkle as she laughs, the sound so similar to the jingling of bells. Voice as sweet as honey, and smooth like silk. Edelgard never thought she would find beauty in a person, yet here it is, in it’s rawness. Bare and unforgiving and presented right in front of her.

Edelgard feels she is undeserving. 

-

Dorothea visits her dorm. Edelgard isn’t introverted, far from it. And yet, with Dorothea sitting across from her, tapping her pencil against her top lip, there’s not much she has to say. This shyness is foreign, but it overcomes her anyway. She watches her, the work in front of her forgotten, hands folded in her lap.

“Circle your hands in a broad motion, blah blah - Goddess, this is  _ the worst _ . I really don’t get why the professor insists I study faith of all things! Faith, reason - they’re the  _ same thing _ !” Dorothea sits up with a huff, “like seriously, there’s a certain amount of power behind your arm thrust while you’re healing someone? You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

Edelgard laughs. Dorothea turns to her and laughs as well. 

“Well, you’re going to need the experience soon, don’t you think?” she straightens up. Dorothea’s looking up at her through her lashes, toying with the corner of her notebook. 

“Oh, I hope I never have to put this experience to use,” she sighs, “these missions at the end of the month are hard enough as is, if I’m being completely honest.” 

Edelgard stiffens from where she sits. Dorothea doesn’t notice, just returns to flipping through the notes provided by their professor and humming to herself. 

“Dorothea..what if you _had_ to put this experience to use?”

She turns to her, those beautiful curls she adores so much bouncing as she does.

“What if I had to put it to use?” She asks. Edelgard nods. Dorothea shifts uncomfortably, corners of her lips downturning and eyebrows creasing. 

“I’ve never..thought about it. I just wanted a year at the monastery, in all honesty. I never knew I was signing up for something so…”

“Violent?”

“Yeah. So violent, I guess,” she looks away from Edelgard, turning to stare at something she isn’t sure exists.

Edelgard sighs, turning her focus back to her notebook. Dorothea sets her notebook aside, scooting closer to her so she can rest her head on her shoulder. The former feels herself tense  _ violently,  _ freezing as if she’s been shocked. Suddenly, she’s calculating every movement - the way Dorothea breathes, and the slight shifts from where she sits. She’s never been this close to another person before and felt this  _ strange _ . She’s not sure what to do, and the vulnerability frightens her.

Edelgard had missed out on a childhood. She’s lost so much she isn’t sure how to have, or to keep. She wants to keep this. To keep it in a little box, and never let it go. And she’s selfish for it - wanting to call claim on something that didn’t belong to her to begin with.

She looks down at Dorothea’s fingers. Her own itches to lace them together, and have her close. They’re so close,  _ so close _ , and the anticipation leaves her biting her lip in yearning. Her hands clench and unclench at her side as her gaze shifts to her resting face. She looks so peaceful. Like she’s fallen asleep, or she’s died. Edelgard might die in Dorothea’s embrace. She’s not sure if she would mind.

Then the world stops spinning on its axis, and the sun has burned out - because Dorothea’s hands are now in hers, and all Edelgard can do is sweat at the gesture, and feel the nervousness bubble in her chest and threaten to take over.

She assumes she’s asleep with how still she is, but the thought leaves her mind completely as she begins to hum a tune from her opera days. Dorothea curls up against her side, smiling to the tune. Briefly, she wonders what Dorothea would look on stage. She wonders what she’d been missing out on, if she was really as beautiful as the critics had said.

[ Edelgard knows the answer, however. It’s right in front of her, resting on her shoulder. ]

She’s selfish - Edelgard is  _ so _ selfish and she knows it. One day, Edelgard will have to leave Dorothea, and vise versa. The war will begin, and she will resent Edelgard for all the suffering caused by her hand, and her hand alone. There will be no more study sessions like these. They will be at opposite ends of a war, and it will be for the greater good. Edelgard knows this, and she’s come to terms with it. However, she doesn’t want to let it  _ go _ . She wants to be in Dorothea’s company for the rest of her days, and then some. She wants to belong to Dorothea, and Dorothea alone. 

For now, Edelgard pushes the thoughts aside, and squeezes her hand.

“Dorothea?” 

“Hmm?” she answers, none the wiser to Edelgards internal torment.

“Have you ever been in love?” 

Dorothea’s eyes open slightly, thinking over the question. 

“No, she finally answers, “I don’t think I’ve ever been.”

Edelgard can feel her sigh on her shoulder. It’s silent now, as it had been earlier. She looks down at their hands again. 

“Have you?” Dorothea asks, looking up at Edelgard through her eyelashes.

_ Indeed _ , she wants to respond,  _ or so I believe. I believe that I am in love with you, and I’m utterly selfish for it.  _

Instead, she says “No,” and frowns to herself at the lie.

Dorothea hums in acknowledgement. Edelgard doesn’t dare stare back at her, and shifts her gaze from where they’re connected to the wall in front of her. She could cry. She could  _ really _ cry. 

Another beat of silence. And then- 

“If I left the monastery, would you come with me?”

She can feel when Dorothea tenses, and thinks of retracting the statement before she hers her laugh. She rests her chin on her shoulder, and gives Edelgard an amused stare. “Edie, are you asking me to run away with you?”

“I might be.” 

Her reaction is completely different than her previous. She snaps up from where she’s sitting, wrenching her chin off her shoulder and looking at Edelgard with blown pupils and raised eyebrows.

“Seriously? You really want to whisk me away?”

Edelgard, at first, glares at her in confusion. She doesn’t understand the reaction, as  _ it is _ a bit over the top. And then she  _ really _ looks at her expression. Her eyes are glimmering in excitement, and Edelgard just smiles back at her fondly. “I am asking that of you, yes.”

She watches as the apples of Dorothea’s cheeks flush, and the way she breaks their eye contact. It’s amazing, really. In this flustered state, she still manages to act completely overdramatic, with one hand smacking her forehead and the other clenching the fabric against her chest. “Oh my - how  _ romantic _ of you, Edie! Why-” 

“I’m completely serious.”

They stare at each other. Dorothea is completely taken by surprise, and searches her expression for a sign of her simply toying with her. Edelgard never falters, however, and it’s  _ frightening _ . 

“When it’s time for me to depart from the monastery...I want you by my side,” she looks to the side, “As selfish as that may sound...I do not wish to depart from you.”

Her mouth gapes. She looks at the floor and grabs Edelgard’s hand. 

“I..”

“You don’t have to-”

“No,” Dorothea interrupts with a shake of her head, “no, no. I will. I’ll leave with you, Edelgard. No matter what.”

Edelgard smiles. 

“That’s all I need Dorothea,” she whispers, “you - by my side.”

Pure, unforgiving, and raw. Those are the feelings Edelgard has for Dorothea, and she never wants to live without them.   
  


**Author's Note:**

> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/seriaIpastry)


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